FIRSTS, LASTS AND DÉJÀ VU ( ignore the date...it's after midnight and I'm going to be late posting)

Well it's been a while since my last blog and I've been quite busy indeed. I have finished my third round of chemo and had the first of 27 radiation treatments today. Last Wednesday I came to town for my markings (tattoos..lol) and as Glenn took the same route as we did four years ago,  I couldn't help but get a feeling of déjà Vu.  To be brutally honest,  I can't believe I'm back at it again. However I have always been one to say whatever will be will be.  Cest la Vie!

I've chosen the title for this blog because the past few weeks have been a lot of firsts, lasts and déjà vu feelings for me.

I have gone through the first year without my darling mother. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary since she went to heaven to be with dad. Suffice it to say, I have an emptiness in my heart. That being said, I thank God that she is free from pain. I feel her presence on a daily basis and often find myself asking myself. "what would mom say if she was still here?" I was very lucky to have her as long as I did and realize how blessed I was to be able to say she was MY mom. Thank God I was well enough after my 3rd chemo treatment to get her grave all completed and I'm pretty sure she would be pleased with the outcome....I could never have done it though without the help of Luke, Glenn and Myra's fiance , Glenn.

Emily had her last day of high school and her last dance recital and I have had to come to terms with my baby girl having grown up to a beautiful young woman. I've had mixed emotions but the sadness I feel about those years having passed way too fast was quickly replaced with overwhelming pride at the amazing young confident woman she has become. Tomorrow she will register for her Bachelor of Commerce courses at Memorial University for the first time. She has a bright future ahead of her and I am sure she will succeed in whatever path she chooses. She has her first summer job working at the Spaniard's Bay Heritage Museum as an interpreter. If you're in the area , drop in to see her. She'd love to give you a guided tour. Lol. 

Luke has moved home for the summer and is busy working. He's enjoying his new job as social media ambassador for Legendary Coasts and is currently in the Trinity - Bonavista area scouting out all the tourist attractions. He is a great help to his dad , who still struggles with back pain. He's also a great help to me and makes me laugh on a daily basis. In fact most nights, it's the last thing I do before bed...laugh at something he said.

As I said today I had my first radiation treatment...again a feeling of déjà vu as I prepared to accept the beam.....nothing to it really. Like Buddy Wassiname says...sure it's all in yer mind. Seriously though I will be glad when this is over so that I can enjoy summer instead of driving back and forth to town every day for the next 5 1/2 weeks!

Last weekend was another first in a while. Glenn's cousin Megan got married and we got to get together with  the Crocker family for the first time in a long time. Mrs. Welsh's sisters Margaret ( and her husband Skip) and Edna came from Nova Scotia for the wedding. After the church ceremony we all gathered in our back yard for food, drinks and fun before the reception. What a time we had!  The sisters, brothers, nephews and nieces challenged each other to a game of washers and it was a lot of fun. We gathered together for a few pics before heading out to the big party! I was so glad to be able to host this event and even happier to see Mrs. Welsh have such a good time with her siblings...lifted my spirits to see her smiling from ear to ear and kicking up her heels on the dance floor with her sisters- they sure  love to dance.

Yesterday I went to the public health nurse to have my port flushed... Smooth as a baby's ass...no hitches at all. Thank God. Afterwards I went to visit old and dear friends, Gord and Lona Stone and their gorgeous grand children in Hr. Grace . Unfortunately Lona and the kids weren't  home but I had a lovely visit with Gord. Gord and I go back a long time. He was my high school teacher, my colleague/ principal in my first teaching job and has been a dear friend ever since.  We had quite the chat...lots of laughs and some tears but there was that déjà vu feeling again...sitting around reminiscing about Holy Trinity school days and times gone by. Funny how you can go months and months without seeing someone and then when you get together, you pick up just where you left off. I have an immense amount of respect for this man and if I won the lottery tomorrow, he'd be one of the first I'd share with as it was him who,supported me so often in my career and I know he always put in a good word for me whenever I was applying for jobs. Hopeful I will get to see the kids before they return to Ontario.

Last night I got together with a very good friend who treated me to wings and drinks at Jungle Jims..it sure was good to see her and laugh. She gave me a bottle of Baileys ...I'll save it for the end of radiation party...Right Yvette and Denise??? I missed the year end party and the girls' night last week , but we will make up for it in a few short weeks. I also want to give a shout out to my friend Susan Snelgrove who kept in close contact since I started treatment and really helped me pull through the last chemo treatment.

I'm sitting here writing this blog right now at the Sheraton Hotel in St John's. Glenn dropped me off here after my treatment so that I could avail of a very special surprise a arranged by my long time friend Lola. Lola and I met in university 30 years ago. We became instant friends. We set her up with Glenn's buddy Allan and they ended up getting married. She sang at our wedding and we were best man and maid of honor at hers. I was pregnant with Luke and was quite nauseated all day on the day she got married. They moved away shortly after, but we never lost touch. They come to visit us every time they are back in NL. She is visiting from Fort Mac and unfortunately lost her home in the devastating fire. She never ceases to amaze me with her optimistic outlook. Anyway I took her out to lunch when I was in town last week and she suggested we get together for a while before she went back, I quickly agreed. Well she took the bull by the horns and went all out. She booked a room at the Sheraton hotel for us and arranged a one hour full body massage for me at the spa. OMG Now that was soooooo relaxing. She's joining me here shortly and we are getting all gussied up and going out to dinner. She made reservations at Raymonds, a fine dining restaurant on Water Street. Lola spared no expense and ordered us a seven course meal with wine pairing ( a different glass of wine from all over the world after every course)  Now this was the first time I was ever at  this restaurant and the first time I was served  things such as oysters, quail eggs, raw tuna and scallops and rabbit pasta, not to mention all the other Newfoundland foods cooked in an exquisite yet exotic style. Jeremy Charles sure knows his way around a kitchen. The service was excellent and I might add very handsome waiters kept us entertained all night explaining the food they were putting in front of us.We told one waiter that we were celebrating 30 years of friendship and at the very end of the evening after we had finished dessert he brought out a special plate made by the pastry chef just for us. I expect it will be the last time I go there for a long time.I'm not that adventurous when it comes to trying food.  Lola insisted on paying, much to my dismay,  and I joked later that I could buy two months worth of groceries for what that one meal and wine cost us. But boy did we enjoy the wine . We got a cab back to the hotel and settled in to our jammies, determined to make the most of every moment. I think we ended up still talking with our eyes closed!!!! Today was truly a day of pure pampering following radiation therapy. I'm quite lucky indeed. On a day that I was dreading, we laughed to no end, and as mom always said for all that laughing , there'll be crying. NO doubt when we part ways tomorrow there will be tears again but tonight we made the most of every minute celebrating our 30 years of friendship. God has truly blessed me with lifelong friends and new friends who support me everyday on my journey.

Didn't realize we were going somewhere fancy, so I had to run out and buy a new dress

                                                        so did Lola!!!!

                                                     We're like the fine wine we drank, we just get better with age

This dessert was to die for. It was topped with haskap berries which are native to NL, but I've never heard of them. They tasted amazing. Now I just got to figure out where to go pick them

                                              A special surprise delivered to us by the waiter

Here is the menu card they gave us when we left...we had NO idea what we would be served ... boy was I surprised!

So to all you reading this I ask you to pray for Lola and her family as she goes back to Fort Mac to rebuild her home ( could take up to 2 years they've been told) and she reminds me that material things never matter...a house is a building and home is where the heart is. She always have a room in my "Home"

 A Facebook memory from 4 years ago showed up yesterday...I clicked on the link. It said last radiation treatment today ... Oh well Deja vu ...I'm on the countdown again. Till  next time  I anticipate a smooth road to 27 treatments ...oh wait one down only 26 more to go.

Now in keeping with my sense of humor, here goes..... ( I've changed up a bit to suit the occasion) 

Kim  and Lola were in the same classes at university. They were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together. After getting married they went to different provinces and settled. However, they kept correspondence through letters and e-mails.

To keep the memory of their boozing bouts alive, Lola always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately!

When somebody asked her why she did so, she explained: 'This glass is Kim's; this one is mine. So I take a sip from each - one on behalf of Kim, the other for myself.'

Suddenly one evening Lola was seen with only one glass on his table. She was asked what had happened. She replied, 'You see, I have given up drinking but Kim has texted that she has not. So I have put away my glass and drink only on behalf of my friend.


Oh the things friends will do for ya.....

 ...enjoy all the FIRSTS, LASTS AND DÉJÀ VU MOMENTS IN YOUR LIFE...THEY WILL CERTAINLY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE OR A NOSTALGIC TEAR TO YOUR EYE...WHATEVER THE CASE MAY BE ..LAUGHTER AND CRYING ARE GOOD FOR THE SOUL.

There's every day blessings and nothing that a cookie can't fix!!!

And I have a Mother in Law who Makes the Best Cookies

Well it's been a busy few weeks since I wrote my last blog. I've had my first treatment an will have the second one tomorrow morning. I had a few minor bumps along the way but nothing that I couldn't handle along the way with the help of family & friends ....and a cookie!!!

I don't want to share the details of those bumps since the purpose of this blog is not one of self pity but rather therapy to focus on the good things that dominate my life.

Three days post chemo we celebrated Mother's Day. In many ways, it was a difficult one for me as it was the first one without my darling mom. However, I felt her presence and know that she would want me to enjoy the day with Luke & Emily . I also got to spend time with Mrs. Welsh who is more than a mother in law to me. Glenn prepared turkey dinner and Rhonda came to visit. The kids gave me beautiful cards and a lovely mom ring and doted on me for the day. I spent most of the day having hot flashes and I guess this means now I'll be able to join in on the menopause conversation with my card club ladies!!

What a blessing on May 13 to celebrate Emily's prom. I'm sure most of you will agree, she was simply stunning ( but then again I am biased) ! She was smiling all day & was very happy to have so many people stop by to help her celebrate. I just couldn't resist posting all her pics on Facebook. We are truly blessed with family & friends who are always there for us in both good and bad times. I think she was a little overwhelmed by the kindness of those who stopped by with gifts and certainly appreciated the kind gestures of so many people. Special thanks to them all !!! Many of these people
(including members of my card club,  especially Helen who was her babysitter , Corinne and her Godparents Garfield and Chantal) have watched her grow up from a tiny baby to the beautiful young woman she is today and have helped develop into the mature, responsible and kind-hearted person she is today. She certainly had a full week of fun. Glenn joked that we would let her have what she wanted for prom since she says she's never getting married. It was so nice to watch her and her dad dancing at the prom.I felt so blessed to see this as it was a prayer answered from four years ago.


It was also great to see so many of my students and have pics taken with them. I was especially moved by a conversation with one graduate. I had taught in him level 1 &2 but not this year. As soon as he saw me he sang out and asked if he could have a picture with me. Afterwards he said " Miss how are you doing"? I told him I was doing good. He very genuinely said "Miss are you going to be ok this time"? I assured him I would be and then he said something that totally blew me away. He said " you know what Miss, I pray for your good health every night. I really miss having you as my teacher this year and you'll always be my favorite". Well let me tell you I had to fight to hold back tears, To be blessed with such caring students certainly makes this whole journey a little easier.   I got to see a lot of them and it was really hard to follow doctor's advice and "not go hugging and kissing students" They truly are a great group and I miss them terribly.

Another blessing I received this week was the chance to celebrate Myra's birthday. What a great time we had. Luke and our cousin, Gerry,  kept the guests entertained and by the time 2 a.m rolled around I was happy to hit the sack.  It was so good to spend time with my sisters Nellie & Myra and my brother Ed. We did lots of singing, dancing & laughing. As usual there was a lot of good food and Myra & I joked about Mom always wanting to take pictures of everything at parties, even the table with the buffet of food laid out





I am blessed indeed with such caring sisters who check on me and cheer me up on bad days.

On Sunday I had the privilege of spending part of the afternoon with my Great- Aunt Winnie to help her celebrate her 100th birthday!!  

I was able to contact my other great Aunt Rose who is 93 and lives in England via Face time. I have often heard the phrase if the old people could come back and see the technology we have today they'd be surprised ...well you should have seen these ladies' faces!!! They are sisters in law and have not seen each other for years. They found it hard to fathom that they could see and talk to each other on a cellphone screen. It was moment I won't forget and I know it was a special gift to Aunt Winnie. She is also a breast cancer survivor. She was my Nan Simmons special friend as well as sister in law and let me tell you , they were ladies indeed. I don't ever remember seeing either one in slacks and they were always dressed like a stick of chewing gum as my mom would say.

She is a birthday Princess for sure

On Monday I got to meet my third cousin Colin who came to spend the night with me. He is Aunt Rose's grandson who has given me the gift of family history. He has traced the Simmons family roots back several generations. It was from him,  that I learned my great -grandmother had breast cancer. In his genealogy documents the following info is recorded : " Mary Simmons had breast cancer and with no modern medical facilities had her breasts removed with out anesthetic. She just had alcohol which she drank". I guess being a strong woman is in my genes! 

My Great Grandmother Mary Simmons

Me and Colin

Luke has been home this past week as he is working in the area. It sure has been nice to have him home. He has been a great help, especially when it comes to help alleviate the neuropathy in my feet, which is a side effect of the chemo. He was happy to help out last week as well at  a local fundraiser in Bay Roberts and has played for a couple of fundraisers (for Fort Macfire victims/ Red Cross ) that rasied over 60,000 in total. 

Finally I got a very special gift this week from my friend Diane. It was a wall hanging that had special meaning not only because of what I am going through, but also because it contains a quote that I used in the toast to the graduates at this year's prom. Diane truly knows how much I am missing my students but I know they are in good hands with her . I have it placed in my kitchen so I can see it every morning as I start my day , Friends are a blessing indeed!

Now that I am almost done I feel better already!  I had a bit of a rough day today due to some issues with my port, but tomorrow is a new day & I know that my prayers will be answered again when the nurses try to access it in the morning. So instead of thinking about the bad days,  this blog has allowed me to concentrate on all the good things that are happening in my life.  I am blessed ...........

and when things go wrong I can always have a cookie!

In closing here is your joke for the night.... I wonder if this wife was having a hot flash.... ( thanks to my nephew, Rick, for sharing this one with me!

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.

“I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.

“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”

and here's one more for good measure....Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond . . .

Good night folks!

On the road again...

We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes , "why did this happen to me?" unless we ask that same question of every joy that comes our way- Phillip E. Bernstein

When I wrote my last blog entry, I never dreamed I would be "on the road again" just a few short months away from my graduation date ....the day I was going to get my walking papers from the Dr. Bliss Murphy Cancer Centre. But here I am again tonight! Today I had pre- op at the Health Sciences Centre and on Monday I will get a port put back in my chest, which will make the infusion of chemotherapy a whole lot easier. On Thursday of next week I will receive the first of six rounds of chemo and so the journey begins again.....

They say that once you've been diagnosed with cancer, you are never the same. That is true. I am a different person in many respects than I was four and a half years ago. However in other ways I have not changed. I never wanted cancer to define me but rather wanted to be seen as Kim  the wife, the mother, the sister, the daughter in law, the friend and teacher. I didn't want to be seen as Kim the breast cancer survivor.

Now that I have just been diagnosed with uterine cancer I am faced with a new set of circumstances that will inevitably change me again. Irregardless of the things I will have to endure for the next four months or so, I know that when the 6 chemo and 27 radiation treatments are done, I will once again want to go back to being Kim the wife, mother, sister, daughter in law,  friend and teacher.

I feel in many ways my blog writing will not only keep you all posted about my progress, but will also be good therapy for me as I face the disease that has once again robbed me of the privilege of spending my days in my classroom doing what I love and believe I was meant to do.

I promise to keep you entertained once again with some good clean jokes and to show you what a warrior I am. I have gone through many stages since my surgeon called me from his home a few
weeks ago.....shock, anger, denial- you name it - but rest assured that I no longer have these emotions because they have all been replaced with pure and utter determination.Especially since I received an excellent ct scan report this week and have been given a good prognosis and reassurance that these are precautionary treatments. I will be as good as new Dr. St Croix assures me!!!

Some people have asked me how can I remain strong, especially after all we've been through since 2011 and my answer is this ....I gather my strength from :

my undying faith in God who has a plan for me ( why else would He have sustained me through all of the terrible things I have faced?)

the loving arms of my husband Glenn who embraces me multiple times and reassures me that everything will be alright and we'll grow old together

the the hugs of my two amazing children Emily & Luke who hold me tight and make me feel like I'm the luckiest mom in the world as they whisper I love you in my ear and say " I know" when I reassure them I will be ok

the texts, messages and check ins from my four amazing sisters who constantly tell me I will get through this cause I am strong like mom

the daily conversations I have with my mother in law who shares my faith and acknowledges that this is as it is supposed to be at this time in  my life 

the support of all other family members and friends who tell me they are praying for me and will be my side through this journey

the phone calls from my friends who check in each day to fill me in on what I missed at work or to check to see if there's anything I need, and from my online support group of childhood friends who are scattered from Heart's Delight to Labrador to the Northwest Territories 

the emails I receive on a daily basis from my students, their parents and my colleagues - all wishing me well, telling me they miss me at school and hope I get well soon and return to room 209

and finally from the lessons that I was taught by the greatest teacher and mother who ever lived...the " tough old bird" who faced health issues head on with a steadfast determination to  surpass "Three score and ten and then some".  So many times in the past few months I find myself doing things she did and I look in the  mirror and say " you are becoming your mother" and that my dear is a good thing

So there you have it ....back on the road again. I am sure there will be bumps, potholes, twists and turns but whatever I encounter on this journey I will hold my head high, keep a smile on my face and say "Keep going Kim, there are still too many things on your bucket list to slow down or stop"!

This time last month we were in Florida and were preparing to cruise to the Bahamas . We had the  time of our lives and had the most amazing family vacation filled with laughter, fun and unforgettable moments. I am refreshed , energized and ready to face the coming months  knowing in my heart we will have many more special memories to create, ports to visits, beaches to lie on and things to do. But in the meantime , I will follow doctor's orders, suck up the side effects and show you all as the song goes ...I still got a lot of fight left in me "


Now in keeping with my tradition of a good joke , here goes

There were 2 young brothers who were sitting in their bedroom chatting one morning. The older one says "I think it's time for us to start swearing". The younger one says "Ok  , O yah , really"?

"Yes" says the older one. "When we go downstairs I'll say "hell" and you say "ass". 

"Alright" says the younger one

Downstairs they go. Mom says " what do you want for breakfast?" 

"Ahhh what the hell , I'll have Cherrios" says the older boy. 

With that the mother whipped the boy around, gave him a good spanking on his bottom and sent him back to his room in tears.

She turned around and looked at the younger child  and said "now son what will you have?"

The littler boy promptly replied " You can bet your ass I'm not gonna ask for Cherrios"


Hope that made you laugh out loud 

Good night folks. God bless and remember Life is a highway! Enjoy the ride.