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| We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes , "why did this happen to me?" unless we ask that same question of every joy that comes our way- Phillip E. Bernstein |
They say that once you've been diagnosed with cancer, you are never the same. That is true. I am a different person in many respects than I was four and a half years ago. However in other ways I have not changed. I never wanted cancer to define me but rather wanted to be seen as Kim the wife, the mother, the sister, the daughter in law, the friend and teacher. I didn't want to be seen as Kim the breast cancer survivor.
Now that I have just been diagnosed with uterine cancer I am faced with a new set of circumstances that will inevitably change me again. Irregardless of the things I will have to endure for the next four months or so, I know that when the 6 chemo and 27 radiation treatments are done, I will once again want to go back to being Kim the wife, mother, sister, daughter in law, friend and teacher.
I feel in many ways my blog writing will not only keep you all posted about my progress, but will also be good therapy for me as I face the disease that has once again robbed me of the privilege of spending my days in my classroom doing what I love and believe I was meant to do.
I promise to keep you entertained once again with some good clean jokes and to show you what a warrior I am. I have gone through many stages since my surgeon called me from his home a few
weeks ago.....shock, anger, denial- you name it - but rest assured that I no longer have these emotions because they have all been replaced with pure and utter determination.Especially since I received an excellent ct scan report this week and have been given a good prognosis and reassurance that these are precautionary treatments. I will be as good as new Dr. St Croix assures me!!!
Some people have asked me how can I remain strong, especially after all we've been through since 2011 and my answer is this ....I gather my strength from :
my undying faith in God who has a plan for me ( why else would He have sustained me through all of the terrible things I have faced?)
the loving arms of my husband Glenn who embraces me multiple times and reassures me that everything will be alright and we'll grow old together
the the hugs of my two amazing children Emily & Luke who hold me tight and make me feel like I'm the luckiest mom in the world as they whisper I love you in my ear and say " I know" when I reassure them I will be ok
the texts, messages and check ins from my four amazing sisters who constantly tell me I will get through this cause I am strong like mom
the daily conversations I have with my mother in law who shares my faith and acknowledges that this is as it is supposed to be at this time in my life
the support of all other family members and friends who tell me they are praying for me and will be my side through this journey
the phone calls from my friends who check in each day to fill me in on what I missed at work or to check to see if there's anything I need, and from my online support group of childhood friends who are scattered from Heart's Delight to Labrador to the Northwest Territories
the emails I receive on a daily basis from my students, their parents and my colleagues - all wishing me well, telling me they miss me at school and hope I get well soon and return to room 209
and finally from the lessons that I was taught by the greatest teacher and mother who ever lived...the " tough old bird" who faced health issues head on with a steadfast determination to surpass "Three score and ten and then some". So many times in the past few months I find myself doing things she did and I look in the mirror and say " you are becoming your mother" and that my dear is a good thing
So there you have it ....back on the road again. I am sure there will be bumps, potholes, twists and turns but whatever I encounter on this journey I will hold my head high, keep a smile on my face and say "Keep going Kim, there are still too many things on your bucket list to slow down or stop"!
This time last month we were in Florida and were preparing to cruise to the Bahamas . We had the time of our lives and had the most amazing family vacation filled with laughter, fun and unforgettable moments. I am refreshed , energized and ready to face the coming months knowing in my heart we will have many more special memories to create, ports to visits, beaches to lie on and things to do. But in the meantime , I will follow doctor's orders, suck up the side effects and show you all as the song goes ...I still got a lot of fight left in me "
Now in keeping with my tradition of a good joke , here goes
There were 2 young brothers who were sitting in their bedroom chatting one morning. The older one says "I think it's time for us to start swearing". The younger one says "Ok , O yah , really"?
"Yes" says the older one. "When we go downstairs I'll say "hell" and you say "ass".
"Alright" says the younger one
Downstairs they go. Mom says " what do you want for breakfast?"
"Ahhh what the hell , I'll have Cherrios" says the older boy.
With that the mother whipped the boy around, gave him a good spanking on his bottom and sent him back to his room in tears.
She turned around and looked at the younger child and said "now son what will you have?"
The littler boy promptly replied " You can bet your ass I'm not gonna ask for Cherrios"
Hope that made you laugh out loud
Good night folks. God bless and remember Life is a highway! Enjoy the ride.
